When your milkshake doesn’t bring the boys to the yard fast enough.

Never though I’d see the day where I talked about boobs on this here blog of mine, but it’s come to this. 
See this perfect baby of mine? (I can’t believe how big she is getting omg.)
Well she happens to be the most impatient little terd ever when it comes to eating. Ever since day one in the hospital, she decided when she was hungry, the food better be there and fast. Otherwise she would make you rethink ever having any other babies in the future.
Seriously, after two days of breastfeeding she would either fall asleep instantaneously at the boob, or she would scream and holler because she wasn’t getting milk fast enough. Enter the breast pump.
The best invention ever which also happens to be the worst invention ever.
Mila took to a bottle like a pro. No more screaming and making me feel like the worst mom ever because my milkshake didn’t bring all the boys to the yard fast enough for her. She was finally happy and getting that instant gratification of a full belly. I tried breastfeeding several times a day after that first bottle and she hated it. When your baby doesn’t want your boobs, it makes you feel horrible. Like a total failure and I wanted to cry every time she didn’t take to breastfeeding. Pumping seemed so much easier at first, leading to my decision to just pump exclusively. Dun dun duhhhhhhh. You will never know the horror of the words “pumping exclusively” until you have to do it yourself. 
For some reason if you google “breast pump” you get thousands of pictures of smiling moms with pumps attached to their boobs. Like this one…
The people who take these photos have obviously never pumped a day in their life. How could you ever enjoy feeling like a cow, with the LOUDEST machine ever, sucking milk out of your boobs. You have to stop everything you are doing and hope the baby is asleep or in a good enough mood to entertain themselves for 20 minutes. Those hands free bras don’t work well enough and you literally have to sit there and hold the pumps with both hands, so you cannot do anything else. You can barely hear the TV above the annoying ‘REEE ROOO REEE ROOO” sound it makes and pray no one knocks on your door.
One of D’s friends decided to come over one day right when I started pumping. Scariest thing ever. I ripped off those utter suckers and ran to the bathroom, mortified. Of course forgetting to turn the pump off so when I came out of hiding 10 minutes later, he laughed and said sorry for interrupting my pump session. And now he calls every time before he comes over to make sure I’m not pumping. I. Die.
The first 2 weeks of pumping I had to “establish a milk supply” which basically means never leaving the house, crying every time the pump turns on, and having to pump every TWO HOURS. Thats 12 times a day, being stuck to a machine for 15 minutes each time, leaving TONS of bottles to be washed. That also means sleeping in less than two hour shifts. Sound shitty enough yet?
I cried so many times a day, telling my husband I couldn’t do this and I wanted to switch to formula. He kept reminding me how important it was that Mila gets breastmilk for as long as possible and when I wanted to give up, I kept going for her. DON’T EVER TELL YOUR HUSBAND ALL THE BENEFITS OF BREASTMILK. He will become so set on it, and sometimes make you feel like crap if you want to switch to formula. Women have miracle boobs I tell you. 
This face also helps motivate me…a little…okay a lot.
I now pump every 5 hours. I am VERY lucky in that I have a great milk supply and can space pumping out so much. It helps getting a break in between pumping, because I can leave the house for longer now and sleep for longer. Of course Mila likes to wake me up every 2-3 hours at night still so yay for babies tiny bellies. (insert sarcasm here) 
I have set a goal to pump for her first 6 months of life then switch to homeade baby food and formula. We are going home for Christmas and I want to be pump free by then. I have also been freezing a few ounces everyday so when we get back home she will have another months supply of breastmilk I can put into her formula. 
The point of this post? To remind myself how awesome I am for keeping this up. I never though I’d make it 3 weeks and I am almost to 4 months. And to let all new moms know to keep trying to breastfeed as much as possible. Pumping SUCKS. But if you are forced to pump like I am, feel free to message me with any questions because I can write a book now on storing and pumping, and all that good stuff. The end. 

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Good for you. I pumped because my son couldn't latch. Unfortunately my hormones only lasted 6 weeks and then I dryed up. Just giving him those 6 weeks I hope made a difference. They are noisy and you can't do or hear anything else. I found it most difficult when I fed my son at night and him and hubby went back to sleep. I was then sat downstairs pumping for half an hour.

  • Omg, you seriously just summed up the first four months of SR's life. I pumped for 3 months straight before my doctor and I decided it was time to quit so I could go back on my medication… So go you for going 4 months strong! And I do recommend being pump free for the international flight… I wasn't and it was a NIGHTMARE… just adding to the already sucky situation and depleting my supply 🙁 Good job, mama! Hang in there! You're doing FANTASTIC.

  • Oh my gosh, you are crazy/awesome/insane/amazing! I canNOT imagine pumping exclusively. But good for you [and Mila] for sticking with it. And those pesky husbands… why do they listen when we don't want them to. Hahaha.

  • You're amazing! Lilly did the same thing for about the first month. Screaming her little head off because it wasn't coming fast enough for her. Super frustrating. Eventually she figured it out but still every now and then makes me want to make her an only child lol. I give you so much credit for sticking it out with the pump, you're a great mom!

  • My first couldn't latch and so I pumped for a few weeks and then gave up. My husband was deployed and I was way too tired to even deal with that freakin thing (the pump, not the baby). Luckily, Maddie latched on like a pro from birth and I've tried pumping a few times but she refuses any and all bottles. I have the same 6 month goal. When she starts babyfood I'm hoping I can get her to take a bottle so I can pump, I'm afraid of when the teeth come in. haha

    Mila is soo cute, and growing so fast!

  • I'm hoping to BF and pump when my little one gets here, but I know that it is a complete unknown with what will happen then. I also just found out that my insurance will only cover a manual pump and I'm super irritated/ curious about how that is supposed to work out for establishing a supply and for when I go back to work 🙁

  • I had to do this too and I'm so impressed with you for keeping it up! My supply didn't make it through so we did formula earlier than I wanted to, but in the end it didn't matter because both of my girls are happy, healthy, and strong. That's most important, right?

  • You are a CHAMP! Wow! I'm sorry it has been so difficult, but you are AWESOME for keeping it up anyways. Seriously.
    And omg yes those things are loud. I remember my mom using the breast pump for my baby sister and hearing it roar in the next room. Maybe they're a tiny bit quieter now… Maybe?

  • Breastfeeding wasn't for me. Much respect for all women who do it though. I can't imagine. In the end, we do it all for our precious littles. They're worth it.

  • Seriously you are amazing! I had no idea you were pumping exclusively. Bless your heart, I HATE pumping. Maybe when she is a bit older she might switch to boob? You never know (;

  • Props to you for keeping up the pumping, and good for your husband for being so encouraging! I don't have kids, but I've been studying nutrition (currently lactation and infant nutrition) and it really is the best thing for you baby if you can do it! You should be incredibly proud of your dedication to your sweet little baby!

  • I am always so amazed at moms who pump even just while they are at work, much less exclusively! You are doing such an amazing thing for your child (which you already know) and I think it's awesome that you've stuck it out!

  • You are awesome and good for you! My son was formula fed but I work with women postpartum for a living and I know what a commitment breastfeeding is and how difficult it can be. On a side note, my son is a very impatient eater too! There is no "in a minute" only RIGHT NOW!

  • Awesome work!!! I'm so glad you wrote about this–I have three different role models to follow: a BF for life (not really but she might as well right a book), an exclusive pumper (from a poor latch), and a formula feeder (because of low fat/low milk supply) and it's just so nice to read and hear as many stories and opinions as possible because BF isn't always possible/doesn't always work.

    Thanks for putting this information out there, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for it to work for me (less than a month–eek!).

  • Isn't the pump the worst..and seriously you are right…those annoying pictures of the hands free pumping…for realz yo…lie!!! It's hard and its not pretty and you look like a mess because you are tired and you're pissed you have to do it. I finally got the hang of breastfeeding this last time around, really well, and then he decided he would self-wean himself at like 8 months. really!!!

  • Oh girl, seriously, standing ovation. When Avery and I had troubles the first few weeks of breastfeeding, I thought to myself, "I'll just pump exclusively"…HA. Holy Moly, pumping is so much work. All of the cleaning of the parts made me want to lay on the train tracks. Luckily, I got Avery back on the boob because I just don't know if I could have exclusively pumped. You are super mama. You also just gave me flashbacks to having to pump every 2 hours to establish my supply and I just shuddered with fear. I never want to relive that time of my life. I, too, sobbed to Brandon so many times, "I should just switch to formula, I can't live like this." And he was so adamant that I would be so bummed later on, and he was so right. Nursing is something I am so proud of. Mostly because of what a struggle it was at the beginning.

    Have you kept trying to get her to latch? You never know when she might take it! Also, do you ever just take the parts and put them in the fridge after you're done? One of my pumping moms said that's what she does for late night pumping when she doesn't want to clean all the parts right after she pumps. She just puts them in the fridge. Cleans them the next day. I thought that was pretty clever.

  • I actually like my hands free bra thing, but it's not like I could cook dinner in it! I can sit on the couch and surf the internet, that's about it. I can't hold the baby or take care of him if he cries! I breastfed pretty much exclusively while I was still on maternity leave, but now I am back at work. I pump 3 times during my work day to have enough milk for bottles the next day (and freeze some if there is extra). And I BF at night/on weekends. It is tiring (exhausting I'd even say!) either way, I think.
    Mila is adorable, though, and I'm sure her smiling face helps you keep at it!
    Oh, and re: waking every few hours… My little guy was doing that until one night recently…he just didn't! It's been a week now and he sleeps around 6-7 hours straight! It's AWESOME! He is nearing 5 months, so hoping Mila does the same, for your sanity. 🙂

  • First off you rock! my son is 3 1/2 months and i cried today as i gave him his first bottle of formula since my milk came in. He was 6 weeks early so i had to pump out of necessity at first. The day after we brought him home my husband deployed. Then the following day my Mother in law came to "visit." my son barely had the oral skills to handle a bottle so breastfeeding didn't work for him. when he did latch it would be for a few moments then he would lose his ever lovin mind. i decided to exclusively pump. i think because of everything and how huge my supply was in the beginning i dropped a pumping session too soon and it slowly killed my supply. Up until today he he's had pumped milk. I will keep going until 6 months supplementing when i need to but still pumping as much as i can. Then I am done with pumping.

    any tips on keeping your supply up? I went from pumping 10-11oz total to 2oz total in 3 months. im taking fenugreek and eating oatmeal. Also drinking more than enough water. im p umping 8x a day 20-30 each side and going about 3-5 minutes past the last drops.

  • Totally get it! I nursed my son exclusively so when we had our little girl when I was just 24 weeks I was completely foreign to the pump! We've made it 3 months so far and it's made such a difference in her development. Keep up the good work!

  • My baby and I made it 5 days and after a bad latch (I believe my fault) and horrible pain at every single feeding involving pieces of my nipples gone and left bloodied, I now pump exclusively. It's so nice to have this post of yours to reflect upon–THANK YOU!!! I hope after I heal, I can try breast feeding again under the supervison of a LC. But I'm with you–trying to get to six months…I'm 8 days in. :/